The Maiden, The Man, and The Mistletoe
by MrsEDarcy
Summary: It's almost Christmas time on Olympus and Athena's in charge. However it seems she made the mistake of letting Aphrodite decorate. Of course now Olympus is a virtual minefield, with metaphorical bombs everywhere. And Athena gets caught under one of them. Now she can't move out of place until someone comes and rescues her. Anyone but Poseidon please, a Pothena fic. One-shot.


**I don't own PJO.**

* * *

I admit, this situation may have been my fault in the first place.

It was early December and Father had been abnormally cranky. I personally was actually having a good time for once; there was no war to strategize for, so my artistic side was coming through. I personally couldn't help but get into the Christmas spirit. I walked right into our scheduled pre-solstice meeting singing the last few lines of my favorite Christmas tune.

"Athena! What are you doing?" Father asked loudly.

I curtsied to him. "Singing, Father. I had heard a nice song on my way in."

"Must be the reason my ears are bleeding," Poseidon scoffed. I shot him a glare.

"Sit down Athena."

I did as my Father had bid and sat in my throne next to Poseidon's. Why had my daughter designed the throne room this way? To promote peace, she had said. How did this do that? She had sat Father and Hera in the center with six of us to each side. On my Father's right sat the following succession: me, Poseidon, Artemis, Apollo, Demeter, and Hermes. Those sitting on my step-mother's left were: Aphrodite, Hephaestus, Hestia, Hades, Dionysus, and Ares.

It didn't help any that Aphrodite was bothering me about the fact that I must _love _Poseidon. What about that idiot could I possibly love?

"I would watch your tongue," I warned Poseidon. "Remember last month, when I made Apollo mute for a month?"

He whispered, "Go ahead; I have better things to do with my tongue anyway." Then he winked and turned his attention back towards my father. I cursed the blush that rose to my cheeks after he said that as well as my perverse curiosity as to whether that was the truth or not.

Father cleared his throat and got me out of my stupor. "It's almost time for the winter solstice, and I would like to point out that…" he frowned. "Oh blast it! Why is it so loud down there?!" The thunder rumbled. "Are the mortals celebrating the solstice again? They always get it on the wrong day!"

We all blinked and looked at him a little. "Father? Mortals don't really celebrate the solstice anymore. They celebrate Christmas instead, or another winter holiday." My father looked confused. "You really don't know what Christmas is?"

Poseidon scoffed and looked at me, "And I'm the dumb one."

I ignored him. "Father, why don't we celebrate Christmas this year?"

He blinked and looked at me.

"We could have a party. Give presents, have family bonding."

The last part got my step-mother's attention just as I had planned. "Family bonding?" she asked me.

I nodded. "Christmas is a time for families to gather and communicate effectively through fun activities."

Hook, "Zeus dear," Line, "why don't we have Christmas?" and Sinker. Us I have to get away from Poseidon and these fishing metaphors.

My father nodded begrudgingly, then turned to me. "Athena you're in charge."

Dionysus looked upset. "Father! I'm the god of parties! Who would throw a better shindig than me?"

I rolled my eyes. "You can throw one at camp, brother dear."

He huffed and muttered something about the ungrateful brats being underage.

But I'm beginning to believe that it would've been better if I had just let him take over. Maybe he wouldn't have done the idiotic thing of putting Aphrodite on decorations. It seemed like a good idea at the time. I didn't want her to play all the really mushy Christmas songs or burn down the kitchen.

* * *

However she went crazy with the mistletoe and the kissing boughs and Olympus had become a bit of a minefield. I was good at navigating it to, until I went out of my way to avoid a spider and ended up underneath one. I wish I could've just moved, and believe me I tried, but Aphrodite had put a spell on them making it impossible to move unless you were kissed.

So I stood under it with my arms crossed and a very grumpy expression on my face. Then just my luck Poseidon came across me. He started with a smirk, then a grin, and then it became full out laughter. "So," he said. "The wisdom goddess was dumb enough to get caught by the mistletoe?"

I glared. "It's not funny, Kelp Breath!"

"Were you really that desperate for your first kiss?" he asked with a devious smirk.

"Says the guy who divorced his wife because he couldn't get laid," I retorted.

"Whoa Bird Brain, low blow!" He exclaimed while rolling his eyes. "At least I'm not a virgin.'

I snorted. "Please, at least I'm abstinent by choice; you just get rejected."

"Need I remind you how many kids I have?"

"Like you can even count that high?"

He glared. "Please, I actually care about my kids!"

I scoffed. "And I don't? Please I claim my children at birth."

"That makes monsters attack them, what kind of mother does that?" He exclaimed.

Oh he was making this too easy. "At least my kids aren't monsters."

"One of your kids killed a kid, I'd call that a monster."

I rolled my eyes. "At least Daedalus was perspicacious. Oh I'm sorry, I suppose I should define that word for you?"

Poseidon was beat; I could see it in his eyes. "At least I don't resort to making up words!"

"I didn't you vlakas. It means perceptive."

He threw his arms up in anger. "Why didn't you just say that then?"

I scoffed and tried to turn away but my feet were stuck in place so I was forced to look at him. So I closed my eyes.

"Hey!" I heard him yell. Then all of a sudden there was a presence in front of me, one that smelled like salt water.

My eyes flickered open and he smiled sheepishly before pointing to Aphrodite. "Aph," I growled under my breath. "I'll give you one minute to get us off this floor, before I murder you."

She tried to shrug innocently. "I can't. Hectate made them magic proof. They disappear on December 26th."

"I'm not standing here with this insult to humanity for twelve days!"

"Such a creative insult," he scoffed.

Aphrodite smiled. "Well then, you two have to kiss."

I glared at her. "It's bad enough I'm trapped in a corner with him, but you seriously want me to kiss him?"

She nodded and the standoff began.

* * *

Poseidon and I have been here for about three hours now and a crowd had gathered around us to watch.

We're staring each other down, waiting for Aphrodite to do something so we don't take it into our own hands. Then without warning he grabbed my hand and kissed it, before trying to lift his feet off the ground. "Oh c'mon! Why didn't that work?"

"It obviously wasn't good enough, Kelp Breath," I said trying to ignore the chill it sent down my spine. He kissed my forehead instead, _gosh his lips are soft! _I tried to move but my feet still felt like they were glued down with a mix of super glue and chewing gum.

Without a word he placed a kiss on both of my cheeks and I felt my heart beat faster. There were some catcalls coming from some of the crowd members, Apollo and Hermes by the sound of it. However our feet were still stuck. _Just kiss me_, I thought. He sighed and it looked like he was thinking. I was about to make some sort of comment when he leaned in and gave me a peck on the lips.

He tasted just like salt. I couldn't even form words or thoughts for that matter, but he cursed. "Aphrodite! We still can't move?"

"It must not have been good enough. I don't make the rules of magic spells, blame Hectate."

He glared at her, but in one swift movement I grabbed his head, turned in around, and I pulled it down to my lips for a rough open mouth kiss. I could see the surprise in his eyes as I wrapped my hands in his thick black locks, pulling his head down even more. Poseidon wrapped his arms around my waist pulling me even closer. I licked his lips slightly and moaned when he complied, adding a little tongue of his own. Then we heard a light clearing of the throat coming from the crowd.

"I think you're unstuck," Artemis said with a little smile. Hermes was standing behind her laughing.

Poseidon looked at me and whispered in my ear, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" I nodded and with a laugh he grabbed the mistletoe next to ours and threw it at Hermes yelling, "Hermes think fast!"

My brother caught it without thinking, leaving him and Artemis stuck to the floor. "Have fun, sis!" I laughed. She shot me a glare, but I was looking at Poseidon.

"Want to go get ice cream?" he asked.

I nodded gently and we walked off. All the while I was thinking that I should probably return the coal and get him something else for Christmas. Then again, maybe I wouldn't. He is awfully annoying sometimes.

* * *

**A/N:**

**So I'm sick today and I woke up from my nap thinking it was Dec 26****th****. Yeah it's probably a good thing I didn't go to school today, I had three tests. Don't think I would have passed. Anyway what else to write but a Pothena fic in the mean time.**

**I really enjoyed writing the insults to this one.**


End file.
